May 31, 2006 @ 12:12 pm by sean
I had a dream about typing a xanga post.
Maybe xanga is too much of my life.
Perhaps this will sound like complaining, but it is not.
Just stating how things are.
The cottage is not how I remember it.
Although this difference is increased by Jen and Jon now having their own apart from ours, other things are changing and I am not quite sure how or why. But certain things were missing from this weekend.
Maybe it is because I am remembering 21 years of holiday weekends at the cottage and expecting them all the be packed into each subsequent single weekend.
There is not as much staying up late around the table playing cards, telling stories, laughing more than talking. Not as many full days at the beach. Not as many trips to the beach with the entire family. Less time in town. Less time around the fire. Less time at the flea market. Less and shorter trips to the Bolstlers, and less and shorter visits from them, less sport in the field.
The television has certainly robbed us of much of this. Since great grandpa died and his cottage became open to television viewing, more and more viewing of it occurs each year.
Perhaps there is anxiety with Jen and Jon now having their own cottage while we make plans for our new cottage with Jeff and Craig’s families not included, there is some uncertainty between us all. There was certainly something.
I expect this is inevitable when a family of 6 childern grows up in such a place and then receives it as an inheritance, while it also needs to be demolished and rebuilt with members of different economic standing and me with a father more concerned about everyone being responsible for themselves and offering minimal grace to those who cannot afford it.
One day that generation will be gone, and then my generation with my sister and cousins will be left to have these same discussions.
On the topic of family, someone related to me was just convicted of a crime, a serious crime. A detestable, wretched crime.
How this person is related to me or the crime of their conviction is of little consequence.
I really am not certain how to react to it.
We have known for months of the accusations brought against this person, and from the beginning we also knew why the person was innocent.
I still think they are innocent.
Juries can be wrong, can they not?
It seems so unlikely that this person is guilty, but the jury has decided. Am I to believe the jury?
These strangers have convicted someone in my family of something that everyone in my family contests.
Who do I believe?
To what shall I compare this life?
It is like the stereo in my car, which has DMB in the CD player or CBC Radio 2 on the receiver.