March 18, 2006 @ 8:50 am by sean
Apparently it is not safe for English people, let alone an American, to go to an Irish pub on St. Patrick’s Day. So we did not go. We went to a different pub and I got my expected Guinness. Only a half pint though. I was not interested in drinking anymore than that.
Americans are just better business people than the British, we just know how to have a better economy. I absolutely dominated in Monopoly last night. Regardless of the substances my opponents consumed that may have inhibited their playing abilities while I remained completely sober (as much as one could in an environment with smoke like that), the victory for America was substantial. Owning only four properties -the two utilities, and the two most expensive properties (I forget their names) with two houses on each- I ended up with a fat £7,240, and no one else bothered to count. We just finished the game because it was late, but had the game continued I certainly would have wiped them all out. Even though I hardly made money from those properties, and the only dishonesty was not paying maybe a sum of £500 at most when people were not paying attention when I landed on their property, I made some slick business deals which kept the money rolling in. Instead of causing people to sell their houses to pay me rent and then other people buying the houses and cause me to lose money when landing on their spots, I would just have them pay what they could afford, and then grant me immunity, or get all the profits from a property they owned when someone landed on it. One chap, Mark, owned all the train stations, so he got £200 whenever someone landed on one. But by the end of the game I was getting all the profit from two of them, even though he maintained ownership of the properties. If he gave me the properties I would not have made as much profit. I got continued immunity from some of the highest rents. And though at first I would be quiet when landing on a spot if the other person did not notice, I realized that by being honest they would look out for me as well, therefore ensuring I would make my money even if I did not notice someone landing on my property. So through all their money stealing, money laundering, house stealing, community chest stealing, and attempted business deals, the most honest player easily vanquished the British lads, and the Hong Kong chap. I may have taken some money to keep my mouth shut once or twice as well.
Which is why I hate monopolies and big business of course. The one bloody chap who is only concerned with making money and winning and taking no consideration of having any fun in life or helping out other players is the one who dominates and controls everything, ruining everyone else.
It turned out to be a well good St. Patty’s day.
A hot shower.
The realization of a proper British breakfast tradition.
Irish music and dancing.
Toasted peanut butter and jam with supper.
A half-pint of Guinness.
A smashing good time of Monopoly.
Some Mark and Proverbs.
A warm duvet.