February 24, 2006 @ 11:38 am by sean
So Brandon says that Rayne won the date with Jess. Maybe I’ll have the opportunity next year.
Although that will certainly bring down anyones day, this day has been well good anyway. I turned in my project this morning for 9 am, then headed into town. I decided that regardless of what needs to be done educationally, there is other stuff to be done um, Seanally. So I went to the same café and ordered a large coffee and a scone. I sat at in a booth alone with Peter Waring by Forrest Reid, but with about three quarters of the tables occupied, I was far from completely alone. Just as I finished my food and beverage, a woman asked me if anyone was sitting across from me. As there was not, I said No. So she sat down. I’ve never heard of that before. Suddenly, not only was I not alone in the restaurant, I wasn’t alone at my booth. I continued to read, and she sat down with her coffee, fags and tabloid paper. When I finished reading I asked which way to Granby Street, both because I needed to know, and because asking directions from the other person in such a situation seemed quite classic, and then after I still got lost, I made my way to the rail station to enquire about tickets to Liverpool.
After receiving my information, I headed back to the flat where I read about hostels in the UK, and got *quietly excited – what’s a word for that?* about the prospects of a little rail travel in the coming weeks.
After enjoying my peanut butter and jam on toasted brown bread constitutional, I headed back to the rail station to purchase both my student card and ticket to Liverpool for tomorrow morning.
On my way to here, the uni library, I stopped at a cathedral to look around and pray, a handmade paper shop, and wanderingly made my way along with no interest in getting anywhere in any sort of time constraint. My tentative plan for the rest of the day is some research, making the same spaghetti with sauce and corn mixed together, a side of beans, wheat crisp snack things, and two bisquits and chocolate for dessert, all with a cup and a half of tea that I had for dinner last night. Then I’ll wash my sink, perhaps vaccuum, do some laundry in the sink, and maybe go over to Andy or Nick’s and see what they are up to. And get to bed fairly early to get up to catch the 9:08am train to Liverpool.
This day has much to do with my former remarks about being a square. With very little exception, I have a toasted peanut butter and jam sandwich everyday, because it tastes soooo good, and because I see no point in investing large amounts of money in food while I am here. Scones are not the most flavorfull things to eat, but I find them delicious. A day spent wandering, reading a book, praying, looking out my window while eating lunch, glancing around at a building from the 14th century, all together doing nothing spectacular or to write home about, is a day I supremely enjoy.
Much of my distress about not having a fulfilling time here was due to my fear that, upon my return, when I tell what I have done to those who know nothing about my travels, I want them to be impressed. A trip worthy of praise. I’m not exactly sure what that would be, but I suppose it would include a lot of travelling, seeing a lot of things uncommon to most people, meeting a lot of people and doing lots of ‘exciting’ things and adventures. But when I’m on my own, I’m not entirely interested in such things. I’m interested in travelling and hopefully I will force myself to do so in the coming weeks, but I’m not interested in doing all kinds of exciting things.
But maybe that is just the sound of settling.
Nathan tells lots of stories, and I really like listening to them. I don’t have many stories to tell, and I think being here is an opportunity to do some things to have stories about.
But I want to travel with family and friends, and have stories with them. There is no one here I want to travel with. I will still travel myself….I don’t know. I put way too much emphasis on what other people think of me and what I do that I often don’t even know what my own interests are. In some ways I just want to live the quiet life I attempt in the states that is proving more possible here. But maybe considering the short length of my stay such things are not possible.
There are a few certain people, they change periodically, who I want to think I am interesting. I don’t know why, and I don’t know why them, but I make up conversations with them in my head to see if what I am doing is impressive or not. I really don’t even know if they would have the reactions I have them have, and they are people I don’t even really talk to.
Honestly a day like this isn’t always possible here, as my classes are really demanding. And now it is past 4:30 and I need to do some work. The attitude of this day has changed with the writing of this post.
Although I haven’t found Peter Waring to be a spectacular story, sometimes I wonder why I am reading it, I have found a lot of similarities to both him and his father, and in many ways I fear I will end up like his father. Which, really, is in ways like my own father.