December 31, 2005 @ 2:01 am by sean
There was just a Conan re-run on TV a few minutes ago, and Jesse Eisenberg from ‘The Squid and the Whale’ and from all the celebrities I’ve seen on shows like that, he is one of my favorite. I feel kind of shallow talking about this, but he actually seemed like a neat guy. He was nervous to be on, a little awkward, but still witty and funny.
The summer of ’04 I was listening to ‘Fresh Air’ on NPR with Terry Gross and she was interviewing Matt Damon. I was surprised at how big of a ‘nerd’ he was. For some reason I had boughten into the idea that there is something different about celebrities, there is something special about them. That they really are as cool as their lives their characters portray. Sure, they are usually wealthy and can afford more luxuries than I can, but Matt Damon was a serious actor, not a serious celebrity. He was serious about his acting like one might expect from a stereotypically nerdy drama person in high school. Acting is his job and he really works hard at it, and being the best actor he can be. And in my limited knowledge, he is a well known actor, but he isn’t a huge celebrity that is always in the public eye. Even for those of us not wrapped up in what celebrity is marrying who, and what celebrity got caught doing what, I think we still tend to elevate them as people, when they really could be just like you and me. Of course I was also not a ‘cool’ person in high school, nor would I say I’m that ‘cool’ or popular at Judson, so when I say just like you and me, I mean us ‘uncool’ people.
I consider celebrities and fame and such quite trivial, so I feel trivial talking about this, even though I mean to make certain aspects of it non-trivial I think I am just increasing its amount of triviality just by speaking of it.
I’ve not really been satisfied with my self lately. I don’t think I’m making wise decisions. I don’t feel like I’m doing much for the world, or even my self really.
Although I was re-informed by a book I am reading, it hit me again today how wonderful my life is. The last two days I suppose. I went to the mall with mum, dad, Kristyn, and Eric, today (Friday) and I got bored being in the Gap, so I went to Waldenbooks. I looked around for a while and eventually found a book I was interested in. I have lots of books to read that I already own, so I was not sure whether it was a good use of my money. I’ve also spent much this holiday and I’m not sure all purchases have been wise. As I sat there debating whether I should buy the book, I realized how fortunate I am to even be able to decide if a book is a good purchase or not and I don’t instead have to spend it on groceries or electricity bills or supporting my family or repairing a car that will break down in a few days anyway or paying a bus fair and on and on. And when I was tidying up for my visiting friends and I looked at this residence objectively, I realized my family is rich, and we have a really nice house. And as I put gas in my car the other night without considering if I have enough in my account to fill the tank I thought, I’m rich. And when I look at my bank account statements I think, I have a lot of money. And when I put my reciepts into the file and see how many there are I realize how much money I spend and contribute to the economy. And when I got out of bed at 1 pm today because I’m not obligated to work to support myself or my family and I stared at my closet full of clothes and wished I had stylish pants to wear, I realized how much excess I have. I am a white middle class mostly college educated male in America. It hardly gets better than that. Sure, I’m expected to go to college and get educated and get a stable, highly regarded job, but it’s made so easy for me. I am the only person in my way of that. No one else is in anyway responsible for what I don’t accomplish. Besides my not being upper-middle class, upper class, or royalty, I’m just about as privilaged as they come. Maybe I am upper-middle class, I’m really not sure where the whole ‘middle class’ gets divided up.
How much can one expect to not be like their parents? Everyday I am more and more afraid I will be just like them. Even the way I breathe and yawn is like my dad. I don’t want that. Is it worth trying to escape? How much similarities should I accept as inevitable?
What is proper comment etiquite? Kevin commented, so do I comment on my site? as I am wont to do, or do I comment on his?
I bought the book.