September 23, 2005 @ 2:40 pm by sean
Yes modern soldier, brandish your iPod and your cell phone bravely on your hip. This war you fight is not a war of swords as in the past, no, this war is one of hipness and popularity. The god Apple has created for you the finest, so have no shame in displaying your might to all. Have no fear of wearing your iPod face out where it will get ruined if you fall, because you have not only an iPod, but a protective case to go with it, showing the world that you are a high-ranking officer. Don’t you dare put that iPod in your pocket, or leave it in your room. Always, and in all circumstances, make sure that in someway the world knows you have an iPod. Wear the iPod but have the earphones in your pocket. Put just one earphone in if you must. Even better, talk on your cell phone with your free ear. You don’t even need to be listening to anything as long as the earphones are in your ear. Make sure the world knows you paid a lot of money for your iPod, and that you have to pay 99¢ per song when you could have purchased a cheaper mp3 player, and subscribed to a monthly music download site where you can download infinite amounts of music for $9.99 a month. Show the world that your Apple, the god of iPod won’t recycle the batteries when they inevitably die but will instead throw them into a landfill where they will poison the earth. You ARE hip, so at all costs, SHOW THE WORLD YOU HAVE AN iPOD!