December 21, 2004 @ 11:34 pm by sean
These last few days have been great.
Sunday I went to Sts. John and Paul, the Catholic church house we used to go to. I was glad I still new a lot of the traditional actions. I think I may go again, I haven’t decided. The sermon wasn’t that great, it seemed somewhat unprepared. I think I’d like to try out some other churches in the area.
I came home from the church house intending to read, instead I took a long nap. Longer than I should have. When I woke up I went to the young-adult group meeting at Shepherd’s Gate for the first time. It was OK. Not like I was expecting. I shared the euchre tournament win. That was quite suprising. It is really strange to think of myself as in my third year of college. I still don’t feel as old as I used to view the people who were in their third year of college. I think most of the people that were there didn’t go to college or were already out of college, so that was strange too.
Then I came home and probably did something.
Monday I woke up and went to Angie King’s house. It was so great spending a day with her. We kind of just hung out. I’m glad we did that. Hanging out is reserved for familiar friends. Even though I don’t see her often, it seems when one comes to visit from far away or makes a rare visit, one must do something extra-special and out of the ordinary. The people who are ordinarily common in my life mean a lot to me, so to spend ‘ordinary’ time with Angie was wonderful. Similar to when I took Maria to the store a while ago.
We went to Meijer, then to the mall. I don’t really like the mall, but we didn’t really go to shop. We kind of went more to look and talk. I tried to find gloves for my sister, but I failed at that. Then we went to a tavern for dinner. Then we went to Starbucks. I hate Starbucks, but I was OK with this exception. We spent a lot of time in conversation. She learned a lot about me, and I learned a lot about her. I really appreciated her caring about my life and asking me about certain circumstances, and relating her circumstances as well. Later that night I realized how much I really do appreciate it. More than words could say. I think I tried to read again when I got home, but ended up sleeping. Then I got online and had a great conversation with J.D. We talked about what we are learning in the books we are reading. Again, I have no words to describe the appreciation for being able to have such great converstions.
I woke up this morning and went shopping with mum. We went to the new Salvation Army in Romeo. There were lots of good clothes, unfortunately the trend of not finding good pants continues. I’m gradually needing new pants and a new pair of shoes, but I’ve grown quite fond of both my pants and shoes and would rather they lasted forever. I don’t want a new pair. The good stuff I wanted mum found stains on, so I only got a few good pairs of pants, but those weren’t really everyday pants. From there I went to work at the estate. I didn’t do any physical labor, but it was good to be back at that place, and earning some needed money. I didn’t end up doing much. I went there to print up pictures and transfer Nathan’s phone numbers from his phone to his computer. It took a while to get the printer to work because we were trying to connect it to the computer with a lost cable. I ended up just printing with the memory stick straight into the printer. Tomorrow I’ll do all the printing, maybe work outside a little.
I came home and read a little, but fell asleep. I went to Best Buy to pick up some printer cartiges and CD’s for Nathan, and while I was there I saw Dave Danielle(sp?) from A Sundial. We exchanged greetings. Nothing much, but establishing a connection. While in line I saw Joe Balconi and Shane O’Donnell, unfortunately they didn’t hear me beckon. Then I saw Dan Schoenherr. I didn’t attempt a beckon. It still made me happy though to see people from high school, even if I didn’t get to talk to them. On the way home the drum part from ‘Drums All Around’ was already playing when I got in the car, and ended right when I pulled in the driveway. It was fantastic. I then read chapter 9 in Perelandra. C.S. Lewis is absolutely brilliant. This book is amazing. I’ve heard it isn’t good science-fiction, but the ideas and revelations and insights are astounding. I stopped reading for a bit to have a discussion with Kristyn about life in general. I really liked conversing with her.
Pretty much God just keeps revealing more and more to me about life, and keeps showing me more ways to love Him more. And even though I feel worse and worse about how I treated Nicole – the other girls as well, though because I am somewhat more removed from those situations I don’t feel as bad as I should – and as I told Angie I often would like someone to knock my head off with a baseball bat, God just keeps showing me how to enjoy the simple pleasantries in life, and enjoy them I am.
I asked my parents to give money to Elise for my Christmas present, but besides that, all I really want is a conversation with Nicole. Her starting a conversation with me would be so amazing I would know what to do. Or if I knew it was OK to start a conversation with her. ‘The Lady’ in Perelandra had to learn that one has an image of something good in one’s head, but one might receive something different. If one receives something different, one must not hold onto the image of the old good and therefore spoil the new good. Nicole and I together would be very good, but I don’t want to hold onto that image of good if God is giving me something else. Unfortunately I don’t know what good God is giving me.
She hasn’t updated in a while, I miss reading a word from her life, even if I have no idea what it is about. I like knowing she is alive. I really miss her. I wish I had the ability to express how sorry I am. I wish I had the occasion to express the sorry I don’t have the ability to express.