December 26, 2004 @ 7:43 pm by sean
My life is so wonderful. Even if I had the words, I could not say enough about the joys God is revealing in my life and how much I appreciate them. Though I live in a fallen world, He is with me; He loves me; And He is just beginning to open my eyes to what joys life holds.
Yet I can’t stand myself. I am the worst part of my life. I am the bane of my own existance. I am what prevents more of God’s pleasantries from entering my life. I am what continues to ruin God’s pleasantries for my own life and others. I have abased myself, to myself. I am what I have done, and I can’t change that; I can only change what I will do, but that is only if I ever have the opportunity to ever do again.
If there were a means by which to liberate my life from me, leaving only my life to discover all that God has, I would not for one moment consider restricting my life any further. But I and my life are one, and my life will forever be tortured by the burden of being bound to me.
When G.K. Chesterton was asked by the London Times to write about what was wrong with the world he wrote this:
I am what is wrong with the world. I am what is wrong with life.
Sometimes I wish there were two of me so I could have the other me swing a baseball bat at my head. With only one me involved, it is proving quite difficult to imagine effectively swinging a bat at my own head. No one else will do it, then again, I haven’t asked.