November 16, 2004 @ 5:01 pm by sean
I have a lot of reading to do, but I want to get some thoughts down on our majors meeting today and maybe if I have time I’ll finish them.
We had a fantasic major meeting today. The topic could apply to all majors I suppose, but I think it was especially pertinent to art and design because it is a profession one can either go out and make a lot of money, or go and starve; post-graduation can be really vague for art and design people, probably more art. The topic was what God’s will is for us as artists and designers. It is somewhat paramount in the art and design curriculum(and I’m sure others) to not teach us just how to go get a job and make money, but teach us how to use what God has given us to serve Him and His people. It was really refreshing to hear what other students had to say about where they are, and even though some had less direction than they think I do, I still got some reinforcement that where I’m at is necessary. Right now I’m just a student. I have an idea of what I’m going to do when I get out of here, and what I’m learning becomes more and more applicable leading me to think that this is definately what God wants me to do. But what I realized today after listening to Ben talk, was that this isn’t necessarily what I’m going to do, and I can’t close off all my options because God might end up leading me somewhere I didn’t expect. Before I was quite certain this is what I would do, but now with what God has taught me the last two months, a plan isn’t always best because it doesn’t allow God room to work, even if it is God’s plan.
I really enjoyed the meeting today because I think it is a crucial topic that all of us students should consider because we are here to serve God, not just to get skills to make money. And maybe people have things worked out, but no matter what, this meeting had something to say to everyone. I was naturally quite dissapointed then afterwards to hear people complain about the length and not get anything out of it. I’m good at making quick, false judgements, but I don’t understand how someone really searching after God’s will couldn’t have enjoyed that meeting. Isn’t that why we came to a christian school? This definately wasn’t my first choice of school when I intended to go into design, but I came here because I want to do something more than design. I want to serve God through what I design.
This last week has been somewhat frustrating. A lot seems to be wrong with the world, especially with those around me. Maybe it’s always been like this and now that I’m attempting to not just think of myself I’m finally noticing it. But with familymates of friends dying, friends of friends dying, friends struggling with life in general and finding understanding in what is going on with their life, friends not being able to afford new brakes and struggling financially, physically and emotionally, friends not living the same faithful life they were at the beginning of the semester, friends unnecessarily stressed out with obligations, and so on. My problems are all pretty lame though one is still there and, I just don’t know what to do, if I should do anything. Maybe she hasn’t gotten my e-mails or notes and maybe she doesn’t read this. I don’t expect her to anymore than anyone else. Maybe I haven’t gotten something she sent me. Maybe she just doesn’t want to talk to me. I haven’t slept much lately and that hasn’t helped much either. I was feeling like my life didn’t mean much and having a difficult time accepting that my life is just learning right now and I keep comparing myself to other people and I obviously don’t feel to good after doing that. But I’ve been able to help two friends in the last week see things in their life a little differently, and now with the meeting we had to day, I’m feeling better about where I am. God has more than one plan for me and though right now my main intent is to learn, I can start applying what I’m learning to different things and help people out in other ways. Last night before I went to bed I was thinking, ‘maybe tomorrow will be better.’ But then the part of the song ‘Pig’ by DMB came into my head ‘wash out this tired notion that the best is yet to come.’ The best is yet to come because Jesus will come back. But that is sort of a part of life somewhat separate from the rest of life. Sort of. Though I can’t forget that and know that it is going to happen, I can’t focus on certain situations with people getting better, or getting smarter someday, or getting better at art and design someday. Someday might not ever come. In another DMB song he says ‘everyday should be a good day to die’. Maybe that’s some of the reason why people have been dying lately, to help me keep in perspective my immediate life and accepting the joy of God today and not concerning myself with better days ahead. Today has enough worries of it’s own.