October 7, 2004 @ 2:06 am by sean
I was just writing a letter to someone, and I was discussing a topic I’ve discussed with others this year. This really only applies to returning students, but do other people who attended this school last year or previous years feel this way;
Almost any type of spirituality appears to be a shallow means of acquiring a different or unrelated end and campus feels desolate; it feels like life without God and we are all pretending He is still here because it’s in our name as an evangelical Christian college.
There were other things discussed that brought that conclusion, but I’m wondering others opinions about school and campus compared to last year; or even years I wasn’t here.
The joy I had today with Melony and Natalie and Ian at lunch today was so prevalant last year, but so rare this year because I have such a limited amount of people who wish to enjoy life in that way. ‘Good clean fun’ seems scoffed at, and this ‘mature’ fun appears to be it’s replacement. The jokes I made with Ryan last year were intellectual jokes. Those jokes are being forced out by ‘college’ jokes, or no jokes. Not that anyone could replace Erik Merideth, but I’ve not found anyone this year who can make me laugh anywhere near as much as he could. My posts from last year were full of thoughts and questions and troubles and desires for understanding life. So far this year, many are quite superficial. My mind isn’t being fed by my peers as it was last year. I feel like many people think I’m stupid – or at least not smart enough to be worth talking to – when in actuality there have been very few circumstances I’ve been in that have facilitated engagement in any sort intellectal activity at all. Last year, Matt and I would discuss how unsatified we were with this American life, that it was okay to not conform to our culture and that doing so would doubtlessly make us even happier. We considered what our purpose was in life, and how we didn’t want an existance that wouldn’t matter at all past our death. This year, people seem quite comfortable. The uneasyness Matt and I had lead us to God. I think most of us know what happened when the Israelites got comfortable. Last year Stephan wouldn’t stop displaying the glorious love of God through him, and he loved to have fun messin’ around but he still had the ability to be serious. This year we’ve a bunch of plain rowdy people on my floor just being annoying. But at the same time, I don’t feel like I can make a comment like in my last post and not have a bunch of people take me seriously.
The problem though isn’t in the the friends remaining from last year or the people that have left.
Our school is changing. My worst fear about this school last year is happening this year; we’re becoming typical.
Maybe I’m jumping to conclusions.
Someone please show me some hope.