October 31, 2004 @ 2:50 pm by sean
I wonder if I were smarter, homework wouldn’t take up so much time. It isn’t that I mind most of the work I do, it’s that I see so many people, including many of my friends, involved in and doing things and I can’t help but think I’m missing out on something; and that, eventually perhaps, I’m going to be left behind.
I refuse to make my life busy. I refuse to let academics replace community. But I can’t do any less. And there isn’t much more I have time for. If I try harder in my classes, I will have even less of a barely existing social life; if I try harder in my social life I won’t learn anything.
I want my life to mean something. I’m tired of mediocrity being an acheivement. I’m tired of living in a world of the accomplishments of others.
But again, I look to the wrong place for acceptance.