September 18, 2004 @ 2:09 am by sean
I’m afraid that I’m narcissistic. Or at least egocentric. That scares me a lot.
Is it possible to not know how to love? Can one be born without the capability? Is it supposed to come natural? Those aren’t meant to be deep or philosphical, they’re rather straight forward. If someone does feel inclined to answer, ‘yes’ or ‘no’ would suffice quite well.
“unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person’s adoration of God”
That’s what the dictionary says love is. I never thought a definition could sound so beautiful. I’m scared that I’ve never felt that towards someone. I’m scared I’m so wired for logic and right and wrong that now that my logic has found someone I should love, I don’t know how to love. Imagine looking at heaven from behind a window; if only I could walk through glass, I would have paradise; but I don’t know how to walk through glass and I seriously think I don’t know how to love, and the agnst and frustration is overwhelming because I could lose something so wonderful that is right infront of me, waiting in all it’s glory, prevented only my inabilities, and my logic tells me that would be absolutely terrible, and it most certainly would considering who she is; considering what love is; considering who God is.
I WANT TO LOVE!
I NEED TO LOVE!
JESUS, TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE!
I’m really scared.