July 13, 2004 @ 11:21 am by sean
If there is something I don’t understand, I like to find the answer. I love learning things. That’s why I’m reading a book about bug sex, it’s neat to learn. Well there is something I don’t understand, and would very much like to. It is more pertinent to my life than is bug sex, so I’d like to get it.
I’m not going to change my conduct because of any answers to this question. I just want to know the answer.
If I want a girl to like me, do I have to be less of a friend?
I ask because I don’t understand why I keep hearing, in various ways, ‘you’re a great friend Sean, and that’s it.’ ‘I’d never think of you that way’ and ‘You’re like a brother to me’ are often added as well. Sometimes, nay, usually it is implied. I tend to think highly of the female race, I know they aren’t stupid, but this seems quite illogical. I can’t be more of a friend, the problem is I’m already too much of a friend. I guess. I’m mean, what the heck, isn’t a great friend what you want in a mate?
Talk a walk in my shoes for a few miles and listen to my logic. If you don’t like it, well then you’d be a couple miles away and you’d have my shoes. If a girl who I have more than friend feelings for says, ‘no you’re a great friend, you’re like a brother to me, etc. etc.’ but also says, ‘you’re cute, sweet, a great guy, etc. etc.’ is my logic ill conceived to think that girl is looking for a mate who is a terrible friend, ugly, rude and an inhumanitarian? Or, if a girl who is just a friend and she says to me, ‘don’t sell yourself short, any girl would be lucky to have you’ than what is she? Not a girl?
I don’t mind being a great friend. Infact, it’s quite terrific. Most of my closest friends are girls. I’m getting a little tired though of cute, sweet and a great guy; one because cute and sweet worked on my sisters college friends when I was in high school, and two, cute and sweet only really works for dogs. I’m really beginning to think all my female friends have lied when they’ve said that. And in response to Jessi’s comment(which is appreciated, as well as Sarah’s.), I wish girls would stop lying. I don’t really care if any female thinks I’m ugly, not sweet or not a great guy. I’m only concerned whether or not God will refer to me as his good and faithful servant. Getting married isn’t the point of my life. (the reason I’m asking all this is for understanding and nothing else. no matter what the reasons are, I’ll be damned if I don’t live how I’ve decided to live and change my relationships to be more ‘marriage friendly’.) Hasn’t anyone else mother told them, ‘If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’ That includes not making something up. If I’m not cute, sweet, a great guy etc. than don’t tell me I am. Actually, I can pretty much assume all my female friends are liars. Nearly all of them, whether I had feelings for them or not, have at some point called me, cute, sweet, a great guy, or to not sell myself short. How am I now supposed to trust anything any of them have ever told me or will ever say? I thought I was a good friend to many of them as they are to me. How do I know any of them really even want to be my friend and don’t just keep talking to me just to be nice? They obviously lie at other times, maybe they actually detest me, they haven’t said otherwise except that I’m cute, sweet and a great guy; but I’m pretty sure it’s been established they were lying then. AAHHHH! Why are people so afraid of the truth?