July 22, 2004 @ 12:46 pm by sean
So I got this junk e-mail that was just a link to a single’s site, but under the link it said a bunch of apparently random sentences. This is what it said:
Her daughters odd shaped cat smells. Our bluish mp3 player falls. The odd shaped smart little recycle bin is on fire. Any expensive exam book smiles. A given green gun prepare for fight at the place that whose golden cat stares while our children slopy white balloon calms-down. A smart slopy bed show its value. A given expensive t-shirt adheres. The little door calculates. Our children little laptop show its value. Our round soda got an idea. Whose white bottle makes sound. A round-shaped glasses lies. Her green round small caw run while a given round spoon is angry. His round-shaped recycle bin
stands-still. A given small sofa arrives. Whose shining glove adheres or maybe
a silver wine got an idea. His little purple camera prepare for fight
and a smart bluish expensive gun stands-still the time that their white
printer stands-still. Their stupid glasses prepare for fight. Any given
soft binocyles looks around or maybe her soft paper fidgeting. Mine
smart clock stinks at the place that any given tall soda makes sound. Any
given silver beautiful forg stinks the time that mine golden caw walks.
Whose little kitchen snores and perhaps any given red round-shaped ram
smiles. His purple house is on fire. Their purple picture is thinking.
A given stupid noisy soft sport shoes smells. His brothers green little
camera run. His slopy t-shirt adheres at the place that a given
well-crafted caw calms-down at the place that a white cat is on fire. Her
daughters expensive glasses falls and still her daughters fancy table spit
the time that a given bluish hairy white exam book stinks. Whose tall
clock got an idea at the place that any given round-shaped round-shaped
eraser is angry.
Does that mean something in computer speak or something? Why would that be in the e-mail?
Oh, and I got an e-mail from Princess Oma!
The Royal Palace of Ogoni Kingdom,
Ogoni Oil Producing Community,
Reply to: Princess_oma@masrawy.com
Hello My Repected Cote,
I got your address from a local directory on the web.I
must appologise for taking some of your valuable time
to explain my problems to you.
I am Princess Oma Linda Oba, daughter of Chief Olu
Oba, the king of Ogoni Kingdom.
My father was the King of Ogoni Kingdom the highest
oil producing area in Nigeria. He was in charge of
reviving royalties from the multi-national Oil
companies and Government on behalf of the Oil
producing communities in Nigeria. After the hanging of
the nine Ogoni Indigenes including Ken Saro Wiwa by
the late dictator General Sani Abacha, my father and
rest of these communities leaders continued to agitate
for the due right in items of the royalties, by which
the present democratic government resloved to be
paying more quarterly 13% deprivation as a result of
environmental degradation in these communities. But
unfortunately, my father suffered stroke and died
December 7th last year.
But before his death, he called me and told me he has
Eleven Million Five Hundred and Sixty Thousand Dollars
(USD11,560,000.00) cash in his possession, specially
deposited in a Security Company here in their Vault.
He advised me not to tell anybody except my mother who
is the last wife of the (8) eight wives that he
married. My mother did not bear any male child for
him. Which implies that all my father?s properties,
companies e.t.c., we have no share in them because my
mother has no male child according to African
tradition. My father therefore secretly gave me all
the relevant documents of the said money, and told me
that I should use this money with my mother and two
younger sisters because he knows that traditionally,if
he dies we cannot get anything as inheritance. He
importantly advised me that I should seek foreign
assistance and that I should not invest this money
here in Nigeria because of his other wives and male
children who happen to be my elders.
Since his death, my mother, two little sisters and I
are trapped in obnoxious custom traditional rites. We
have suffered maltreatment and untold hardship in the
hands of my half brothers and my late husbands family,
simply because my mother did not bear a male child for
my late father. They have taken all that my mother
suffered with her husband to acquire including
treasure, houses and his bank accounts closed by them.
I wanted to escape to the United State of America
[USA} with my mother and two little sisters on exile,
but again they conspired and stole our International
Passports and other traveling documents to further
It has therefore, become very necessary and urgent to
contact someone, a foreigner like you to help
receive/secure these funds overseas and to help me
invest it on our behalf as well, while we find a way
of getting out to meet with you in your country.
I have had several telephone discussions with the
Assistant Director of the Security Company, Mr. Kingsley
who has expressed willingness to help me on
meeting their company?s demand. This is why I have
contacted you to help save my mother, two younger
sisters and I, by assisting us to transfer and receive
these funds in your account overseas on our behalf.
But you would need to give me sufficient assurance
that if you help me, you would not divert the funds.
My mother and I have resolved to give you 20% of the
total sum. This is all my mother, two little sisters
and I have got to live on. Please, I have reposed my
confidence in you and hope you will not disappoint me.
Upon receipt of your positive response, I will forward
to you the contact of Mr. Kingsley nwasu for you to
contact him and ask him the possibility of you
receiving this fund on our behalf as the sole
I look forward to receiving your urgent response
through my private email address :
Princess Linda Oma.
This was the small print in another:
blind embark smattering goldenrod housewives clark lace accession knot coon catch demonic teller thousand german absorptive communique surety call captive bombastic cz emblematic smithsonian tanh vaudois depart concocter willie sense playoff odorous consignor vatican torah extraneous village heartbreak freshen cognizant cryptographer faze ramo smog spire lang billow much roar sine aleph distinguish double luxurious annex omen plum filipino tribesmen playground bronze gloss reciprocate dialogue du connubial baptist eventide neologism carriage cofactor oman scrupulosity sag titmouse cerebral battalion antimony beckon stringent exciton elephant cattail on downpour elute scowl bluefish yarn seclude paste pomade beverly workmanlike rata jiffy elliott asplenium mandate daybreak boardinghouse cattail moon cybernetic monopoly radar caliphate besotted erosion bellyfull dickinson shrinkage loess sunbonnet brace roll spurn gog aging earthmen defraud neurology device sallow diaphanous brahms nyquist vote quasar object samovar duchess gorilla calla hereinbelow elsinore fantod stoke copybook gaslight cinnamon bose resolute supposable aspen subversive gorgeous earwig seq corpsman absenteeism machiavelli crotch mckinley made malefactor alkaline average tamarind bermuda dog whitney cornwall basketball conjugacy ghoulish nutshell crosswalk peroxide quixotic martian adsorptive fad car adaptation falmouth larsen markham ceq inhibit resign greensboro pearlstone aloof appeasable bagley rheumatism hieronymus nutritive stringent guignol attitude w’s churchmen aggressive applicate expect albanian clergyman bezel devil shrug sulfate translucent nouveau dortmund preponderate algorithmic merriment eligible hornbeam maggie bartender electret grebe unit roughshod bagley eavesdropped cashew cassette cantabrigian sullivan whittier candlestick penman angiosperm bronzy wristband furnace anyway cadaver cameraman dandelion decryption comatose minneapolis shrub awn abolish caller wastrel wheelbase sainthood frau q’s deerskin awake writhe baklava augusta diameter gyro exponentiate corrigenda anderson hydrometer biceps analyst rhenium aviate oppressor traitor tartar desiderata scarecrow hemlock raffish cinerama psyllium incredible plank adieu pursue bowline regressive backside tutu hymnal forbade epileptic sauerkraut motto spoon blinn full signboard breakup leather epoxy peepy yacht inversion vessel categoric newman black firmware extensive bumptious flam dipole durance own agricola croft leatherwork lazybones brock customhouse odyssey moss knowhow commute implicit hydro price convoy besiege colza jurisdiction scurrilous shakeable lathrop prostheses theatric bergen ubiquitous vertices plutarch amalgamate bludgeon woolgather vestige sherwood convect cherry