May 6, 2004 @ 11:53 pm by sean
I was filling out my FAFSA like a good boy when it came to a question about whether or not I filled out a tax form for 2003. Since I didn’t I decided I better do that before I go on. So I went to go do that, but I have conveniently lost my W-2’s. I still haven’t done state taxes from last year. I’m going to Hell. I don’t even know where to go to get a 2002 state tax form. I hope the IRS doesn’t read this.
I have so much to do in such a little amount of time and so much on my mind. I haven’t felt this overwhelmed since the beginning of the semester.
I worked today. My first day back in retail since I quit Dickson’s 2 years ago. It isn’t quite the same kind of retail, but it is still business. I’m still working for slightly different motivations. Jeff is a botanical genius. He showed me around for a while today telling me the name of every plant. I’ve forgotten most of it. I’m back in tomorrow from 9-5, then Saturday 12-8 and Sunday for some time. If I didn’t need the money I probably wouldn’t agree to work so much. I’m so poor. Fortunately my parents apparently have more money than I thought. I’m still paying for school myself. I don’t really mind that. I’m not sure I like knowing my parents have money they can spend on me or for me. Knowing or assuming they didn’t was an adequate means of not spending uselessly. I still don’t like asking for money from them though. And I don’t really like the thought of having money. I think that is mostly a concern of how others will view me, and although I know that isn’t really relevant to anything, I like looking humble like I try to be. I have certain connotations for rich people, and I think many others do as well. If people think my family is rich, or at least not as poor as we used to be, maybe they will see me differently. I kinda took pride in not being rich. And we still aren’t, and we weren’t ever really poor. We pretty much always had food and a place to stay, but we aren’t people of many luxuries. And I like it that way. Even though most of the money my parents are spending is going towards making our house look nicer and repairs and stuff, I don’t want people to think we are doing it to be better, or look richer or anything and think they have to try and be better. That’s all that capitalistic mind-set crap that I don’t want to encourage. Needless to say, my car needs about 500+ dollars in repairs(300 I just found out about yesterday) and I struggled to pay the 10 for a new headlamp bulb. That’s the curse of used cars and poverty. The people who need new cars that don’t need repairs can’t afford them. And the ones who can afford the repairs don’t drive them. Sometimes people with used cars end up spending more in repairs than buying a new car, but it was just over time. I needed to make a lot to save up this summer, but with the repairs and insurance, I don’t know how much I’ll have left. I did really well at not spending much this semester, but at the end suprises came up with a new battery and paying more to support our Compassion child than I expected. So at least now I looks like I am more able to fall back on my parents than I have been, but I’m scared of that causing me to slack off or become even more dependant on them. I want to burden them financially as little as possible. If only I knew in high school how much money I’d need in college, I would have started saving a long time ago.
Some one just spent 104.1 million dollars on a painting by Picasso. It’s called ‘Boy with a pipe’. And although I won’t disagree that it is art, I still think it is ugly. And if I had just a 10th of just the .1 of the 104.1, that would help me out substantially. Of 34 works of art auctioned with that piece, they sold for a total of 189.8 million dollars. Proceeds go to the Greentree Foundation. I hope that means all the proceeds.
I’ve been noticing more differnces between my school friends and my home friends than I have any other time I’ve come back. I haven’t quite concluded exactly what it is, but I’m not sure I want to.