April 5, 2004 @ 6:32 pm by sean
After Ian and I dropped off his car at the fitness center we fellowshiped/socialized back to Lindner. I decided that I’m not going to vote for Bush or Kerry or anyone else, ’cause they aren’t fun enough. They are too concerned with war and social security and national debt. I want a president who makes every Friday ‘causal Friday’ the law of the land. And creates national holidays like, Insensitive Day, where everyone makes insensitive comments and gestures. Kinda the opposite of Valentines Day. But since everyone is doing it, no one will get mad, and it’ll be a big joke anyway. So it’ll all be good fun. And he’ll listen to local/independant bands. Bands with real things to say, not just sing about sex and money and power. That’s all politicians want to hear these days because that is all they want. But not the president I would vote for. He would respect the small bands that have meaningful things to say about life. I want a president who will pull practical jokes on his country. Like make an address to the nation like he is going to make it communistic so everyone will freak out, but if you listen closely you’ll hear the camera guy and director laughing in the background. And then he says, “Ha, fooled you! You liberals!” (Oh yea, insults are now political according to Ian and me, so play along. Like ‘democrat’ and ‘donkey’ and ‘elephant’ and ‘liberal’ and conservative’ and ‘independant’ and ‘republican’……) He’ll also have control over the entertainment industry, BUT, the only power he has is a button that shuts off all T.V.’s on his command. Instead, all neighbourhoods will be provided with at least a piano or violin or guitar if one can’t be provided by the people, and music lessons will be part of school curriculum from kindergarden. And then when there is no T.V., people will be forced to gather together as a community and perform for and with each other in fellowship/socialism(not the government kind. But this would encourage my communistic propaganda because the more community, the more people would share everything and eventually everyone will help eachother out and live like communists without the state owning everything and they would keep their freedom.) Image all the fun days of elementary school like backwards day. And kris-kros would be the soundtrack of the day.(When looking up kris-kross on google™, I saw that there was the 9th annual Kris-kross day on March 20th! We missed it by only two-ish weeks). He would also make rally-racing the national sport and rally courses would be set up all across the country. Video games would be outlawed because they encourage war. Instead, kids would play war outside with fake guns because that doesn’t encourage war.(Did you catch the sarcasm? I still like war outside in forts better than Rainbow 6.) But really, kids would be taught ‘red light, green light’ and ‘red rover'(though that game can have deep psychological effects on kids) and ‘tag’ of all kinds-T.V. tag, frozen tag….– and ‘hide and go seek’ and how to make lemonade stands and how to ride a bike and how to build a fort and sandcastle and put army guys in it and flood it with a hose and build ramps out of plywood for their bikes and how to make a fort out of blankets and couch cushins and how to read and how to draw and paint with their fingers and learn how to ghost-ride their bike and how to hulla-hoop and how to find images in clouds and use a pocket knife and how to play with firecrackers and how to burn ants with a magnifying glass and how to not wear shoes and how to go down a slip n’ slide and the joys of hot wheels™ cars and taking apart barbies and having camper barbie’s hair ‘accidentally burn by the bon fire’ and how to play with a super ball and how to play jax and how to connect monkies in a barrel and how to make their own costumes on halloween and how to have running races down the street and bike races around the block and how to play in a creek and how to have fun in the woods and how to make snow men and snow angels and how to lay in the grass for 3 hours after chasing down the icecream truck all over the neighbourhood and how to through a ball in the air and hit it with a stick called a bat and how to catch that ball when other people hit it and how to successfully hide under their bed and how to sow and how to have a crush and how to not have sex with that crush and how to make a car with pipe-cleaners and how to build stuff with Legos™ that doesn’t naturally exist outside their imagination and how to mow the lawn and help their dad change the oil on the family car and how to plant flowers and how to climb trees and jump on a trampoline and how that trampoline can do stuff like launch them into a pool or into the tree and how to make stuff out of their food while they are eating diner with their entire family and how to make up songs and how to whistle and how to come inside from playing hitting ball with stick called ‘bat’ when mother says ‘diner time’ and how to catch insects and keep them in the little mesh case and how to name their new insect friends and how to chase after dreams adults think are impossible and how to pretend to be enimals and how to swim at the beach instead of tan and how to play kickball and how to play house and how to play kick the can and how to socialize with people while not infront of a screen of some sort and on and on and on and on and on. He would have to teach kids these things because they all either forgot how, or never learned.
And he won’t need to worry about social security. You know why? He’ll just cancel it. It is a waste of money and detracts from family values. If people aren’t on social security, they’ll have to depend on their family, and because of all the good humor in the country, people will like each other again. And that’ll do a lot about the national debt. That is my kind of president.
(This of course is all said in masculine because to write he/she would be more effort than I want to put in as a lazy American. So assume I mean he/she. Not that he is both sexes, I mean either he or she.)