December 14, 2003 @ 2:30 am by sean
i just watched some movie on tv ontario with julie andrews(the governess in the sound of music) and i had known before from the sound of music she was beautiful, but she really is quite a beautiful woman. i think shed go on my top beautiful woman list if i had one. the movie was about war. ive been thinkin about war a little bit lately. i really hate war. the whole thing is just a bad idea. ive been against it in the past, but more and more ive been realizing the absurity of it. i cant imagine how one must feel to have a loved one die in a war. right now in iraq soldiers are still dying every day. murder goes along with that. i cant imagine how one must feel after killing someone. i couldnt take it. even if it was accidental. im not sure i could live knowing i kept a person from making choices in their life that would and could effect the entire world. everything in this world is based off of cause and effect, and looking at how even the smallest cause could effect so much, and to remove that from this world is terrible. i cant imagine how imoral one would be to remove life.
on a lighter note, i had two strange dreams yesterday. one was that i played guitar for service at my parents church. the first song i played alright cause i knew it some how, but the second i had to read the music for and i have no idea how to play guitar, or read the music that tells me what to play. and the music was written on a round, golden cylinder that was elaborately decorated. bass relief style. and i had no idea how that was notes. the second dream was that i smoked. i smoke even less than i play guitar. i dont play guitar. it was my first time, but it was no thang. i was disgusted by them after, but it was natural.
speaking of beautiful women, do any of you know who elisha cuthbert is? im pretty sure thats not how to spell her name, but she is or was on the show 24. she is only 21, and she is stunning.
ive really got to say thanks to all my friends at school. before i left i had been told not to be nervous because i could be whomever i wanted because no one knew me. and i was pretty nervous because i am extra-introverted around people i dont know. but you guys at judson made it so i didnt have to be someone else. i could be myself and you guys welcomed me into your ‘family’. brandon and michael are mostly responsible for including me and making me feel accepted. i really appreciate that. and everyone else tolerated me too. being home, even for a day, and knowing ill be away for a while, has given me time to reflect on that. you guys really are great people.
and my friends at home, im not sure how many read this, its such a blessing the ones whom have stayed faithful. that number is low, but that is partly my responsibility because i did that on purpose. you guys really are the greatest friends. i probably wouldnt hang out with myself if i wasnt me nearly as much as you guys do. you guys really are more than a blessing than you realize. you are the only thing i look forward to coming home to besides my family. and most of you have made me part of your family anyway.